Schadenfreude

  It’s Friday afternoon and I’m on duty. You see, I have to be an educational force and law enforcer too. Each week I do three duties: before, during and after school. In the playing field of war, I stand sentry, scope out potential trouble, call for back up if kids go over the top. It’s me against a battalion of hormones – somehow peace usually reigns. Today, my detail is to watch at the turning circle, ensuring students leave in an orderly fashion. Given we have a mass of students walking out and a cavalcade of buses coming in, cyclists must walk their bikes off the premises. Under no circumstances must they ride them- this is for their own safety. My job is to ensure this. I get the rule, but I don’t like it. Because for me, bikes represent freedom; I don’t want to get in the way of that. Films are responsible for this association. Remember Elliott in E.T. ? It was as though he pedaled up to the moon. What about Paul Newman and Katherine Ross in Butch Cassidy and The Sundance ...

  Paxman : Now, this is unprecedented. In all my years of interviewing I have never once had to ask this question, but ask it I must: ‘Why am I here?’ You’re not a person of political or social influence – the people I typically interview- which again begs the question, ‘Why am I here?’ Ryan: You’re here because my imagination has put you here. I’m sorry you don’t like it Jeremy, but you’re a good way to promote my new blog. Paxman: A blog! Aren’t they as redundant and obsolete as the horse and cart? Shouldn’t you be holding a camera up to yourself and regurgitating your tedium onto YouTube? Ryan: It’s how I’ve been writing for the past seven years, Jeremy. This is now my third blog. Paxman: Ah, yes, the third blog. Correct me if I’m wrong, but people didn’t even want the first one, what makes you think they want a third? Ryan: Well, I would refute your assertion. The first one was pretty popular. Over a thousand people read one of my articles. Paxman: Yes, but th...